First off, you’re not.
The best person in the world to take care of that baby is you.
You prepare yourself, you have fears you’re going to be terrible that people might judge you. But the thing you are never prepared for is when someone you didn’t expect to, tells you you’re doing it wrong.
Mine was my Nanna, a couple of weeks after my son was born my Nan tells me she thinks I’m over feeding him, that I’m going to hurt him. My son was early and very small, in the first few weeks i tried to breast feed but because I’d been induced my body just wasn’t up for the task of my sons enormous appetite. So after every attempted feed we topped him up with formula from a beaker. It was the only way i knew for sure he was getting the food he needed. It was out of my control, it wasn’t my fault, my son was just very, very hungry. Within a couple of weeks his feeds had doubled in volume, after every feed he’d sick up the tiniest bit of milk with his wind.
But my nan outright told me i was going to hurt him.
now i was exhausted anyways, the midwife had told me i had to feed him every 2-3 hours, even though I’m sure he’d have slept through his first night home i had to wake him to feed, he was just so tiny, i hadn’t eaten properly for days or had a solid hours sleep, my baby rarely cried, he was clean and content and well fed, i felt like i was doing really well. But that comment knocked me straight in the chest, it winded me and i honestly could have just crumpled with tears right there.
The next day when i went to see my doctor, in tears i told her what my nan had said and she told me it’s impossible to overfeed a newborn, because whatever doesn’t fit, they just throw up.
That made me realise i was doing a good job. My baby only cried for food, and he got that, he was clean and content and most of the time sleeping, he was settled and that was all me. My nan still makes comments like that too me today and my response is ‘i’ve been doing this for seven months now, this isn’t new to me anymore’
We are prepared for criticism from strangers, our health visitors, our doctors and the know it alls that are in our lives, but when it comes from someone you thought had more faith in you it’s a pretty devastating blow.
I’ve had many examples of criticism, from people who just think they know better because they’ve got kids or even from people who don’t have kids. An uncle of mine who I haven’t spoken to in 7 years, with no children sent me a video link to tips to calm your baby!
Nobody knows your baby like you do. So fuck em. You know what they need, nobody can do what you do for your child, nobody can tell that a little wiggle means they’ve got winds, or a little groan in their sleep means they’ll be awake for dinner soon.
Don’t let the snipers get you down. They’ve probably got it from some website anyways.